Like Mom and Apple Pie
by ZAGRH8R
Summary: Chapter 9 up! Holy crap! Danny's a goth zombie too! Can an always-been-a-goth, a headstrong ghost hunter, and a nerd avenger save the teenagers of Amity Park. We certainly hope so! One sided PoindexterSam, and maybe some hints of DannySam
1. Red, Gray, and Green

Alrigthy-o! I'm writing another fanfic! And it's the second day of the school year too! Well, my school year anyway. I have been looking forward to writing this fic in quite a while, and hopefully I can put out chapter just as fast as I did for "Mistakes are a Part of Learning". Maybe I'll draw some scenes from that fic, and from this one as well. Maybe I'll actually write "Frayed Timeline" as well. Maybe "Shades of Gray" will come on next week. Oh, well. That's the fun of the school year, expecting the unexpected. Usually the expected unexpected actually isn't the unexpected you get, and the unexpected you get is actually unexpected by you. I expect that you were confused by this tangent, so I'll just continue on to the fic now. Bonne voyage!

* * *

Like Mom and Apple Pie

It was another normal day at the Fenton household. Well, it wasn't normal anywhere else, but this would be your definition of normal if you happened to live there. It was around 6 A.M., the time when Jazz Fenton normally woke up. She walked downstairs taking in the delicious smell of ham being cooked. Now, if you didn't live here, you would expect the ham smell to be breakfast, but you don't, and if you did, you'd know it might not be breakfast anyway.

_The smell of ham cooking? _Jazz thought to herself. _It's either another exploding invention or some deformed version of breakfast. _She noticed her mom was frying up some ham in a skillet, so Jazz went for the latter.

"Morning, mom." Jazz said in a friendly tone. "Is that ham for breakfast?"

"Actually, it's Canadian bacon." Maddie said "Literally."

"What do you mean by that?" Jazz asked, actually confused and not raving for once in her perfectionist life.

"Bonjour, Mademoiselle Fenton!" said the ham-like object in a French-Canadian accent. "You ahr lookeeng qwat lovely today, oui?"

"Ah, I should have known," Jazz said in mild disgust "How could I forget 'Education While You Eat'?"

"Hey, I happen to think that's a good idea." Maddie said in an annoyed tone.

"And I couldn't agree with you more." Said a male voice, sneaking up from behind Maddie.

"Oh, Jack." Maddie said in mild surprise. "I didn't hear you come in." Jack just smirked mysteriously, as his eyes turned from their usual navy blue to a frightening ruby red.

"Okay," Jazz squeaked "Somebody please tell me I wasn't the only one who saw that."

"Nope," said another voice from behind Jazz.

"DANNY?" Jazz yelped "But I didn't see you come in! Why is everybody sneaking up on people?"

"Maybe dad was on to something with that ninja DNA theory." Danny mused.

"Um, Jack," Maddie said nervously "I'd...um...better get back to the bacon..." At this comment, Jack's ruby colored eyes resumed their original navy blue hue.

"Bacon?" Jack said excitedly "I love bacon! Is it the crispy kind or the stuff that looks like ham?"

"Je ne suis pas cet inférieur vous joue comme un pied parle de!" the Canadian bacon snapped "Ah ahm naht these eenfeerior ham you speek ohf!"

"Well," Jack concluded as he looked nervously at the talking ham-like object "That answered my question."

"Oh, by the way kids," Maddie added "I tried to make the cereal speak different languages too, but it didn't really work and now the Rice Krispies are babbling in mock Japanese."

"Well...um..." Jazz stuttered fishing around for the right words "At least they make noise!" Jazz giggled nervously.

"Of course they did!" Jack exclaimed astounded "What LESS would you expect from an inventor of Maddie's caliber?" He finished looking at Jazz with an expression on his face that clearly expressed that Jazz had to be mentally challenged not to expect that from her mom. (A/N Whoo! Run on sentence!) Maddie looked at her husband as if he either came from another planet, or had suddenly given up ghost hunting.

"Well, I've never seen you like this before Jack." Maddie admitted awkwardly.

"I've never realized I've been in the presence of a goddess before." Jack replied, his eyes returning to their afore mentioned ruby luster.

"I'd better leave before this gets intimate." Danny said nervously as he backed away from the scene.

"At least eat something before leaving." Maddie said. "Like the Rice Krispies that babble in mock-Japanese."

"It's okay, I'll eat something on the way to school." Danny answered, running out the door. Jazz looked at her brother dashing away from his apparently love-addled father, and looked back towards the said father.

"Well, that was--" she stopped abruptly when she saw her parents dipping into a passionate kiss. _"What brought on that?" _Jazz thought to herself as she saw her parents enjoying their kiss. In the background, the Canadian bacon was burning up. A strong burning smell came from the breakfast meat, black started creeping around the edges and toward the center, and it was shouting French expletives. "SACRE BLEU! ZUT ALORS! SOMEWAHN HALP MEEEE!!!"

"MOM! The bacon's burning and shouting French expletives!" Jazz cried, but her cries went unheard since her parents were still kissing. Jazz moaned heavily and got a fire extinguisher from the lab. After she quelled the flames devouring the Canadian bacon, it looked up at her and broke out into a wide grin.

"Merci beaucoup, mah darleenk!" The Canadian bacon cried. "Merci beaucoooooooop!" Jazz just stared at the burnt bacon and decided that she wouldn't eat pork again for a very long time.

* * *

Danny was munching on a Froot Loops breakfast bar as he walked to school with Sam and Tucker. Sam looked a little sad and deep in thought. Curious about what was happening to his friend, he asked her what was wrong.

"Eh, it's nothing." Sam said reassuringly "Just another argument with my parents."

"You have these arguments a lot, huh?" Danny asked.

"Not that often." Sam admitted "Besides, they're really not that important anyway."

"What do you argue about anyway?" Tucker asked curiously.

"Like I said, it's not important." Sam argued.

"Well, I think it's important!" Danny said. "So what're they about."

"Danny, please." Sam said "I don't want you intruding in my family life!"

"But--"

"No buts! If you want to meddle, meddle with Tucker." Sam said angrily as she stormed of ahead of her friends. Danny and Tucker stood there with their mouths gaping open.

"That thing about meddling sounded really sick." Tucker said.

* * *

Jazz was glad to be out of her fourth period Language Arts class. Her original teacher, Ms. Mackey, was in a coma so a substitute teacher, Mr. Remora, had to fill in for the time being. Jazz had never been in a more pointless class in her life! Mr. Remora was absolutely boring, and equally pointless. All he did was eat bananas all day, and he would tell tiresome and arbitrary short stories. Some examples of his stories were "One day I went to the store to purchase a carton of milk. When I got home, I poured the milk into a glass and drank it. Then I watched television. The end." Or "One afternoon a man named Edward got into a green truck and drove to a farm. The farm had geese and cows. The end." Jazz was utterly glad to be out of Mr. Remora's class, and so was everyone else in his class.

"How did we get a teacher as boring as Mr. Remora to teach our class?" Jazz moaned to her friend Cybil.

"They say he taught at a well known prep school." Jazz's other friend, Daisy, but in.

"Really?" Jazz asked in astonishment "What school is it?"

"Prufrock Prep." Cybil replied.

"Never heard of it." Jazz said.

"They also say the school's motto is 'Remember You Will Die'." Daisy offered.

"Really?" Jazz asked incredulously.

"Actually, it's 'Memento Mori'." Cybil explained "But it's Latin for 'Remember You Will Die'."

"Wow, sounds promising." Jazz replied sarcastically.

"Yeah, sign me up." Daisy joked.

"Oh, joy." Cybil added. All three girls giggled and they headed their separate ways.

"Seeya girls later!" Jazz said waving to them while heading to her math class. She noticed a nerd getting tormented by members of Dash's posse, and she noticed Danny was walking right towards her.

Suddenly, Danny stopped in the middle of the hall with his mouth hanging open. Jazz was mildly curious as to why he stopped, but just when she was about to dismiss the awkward stop, Danny started shivering. As if that wasn't enough Danny started moaning and gagging as if he were about to puke, and his face was turning green. In fact, his whole body was emanating an eerie green light, and Danny's body was twisting in horrible positions, while clamping his eyes and fighting back the tears.

Jazz was petrified, she couldn't believe what was happening to Danny. She was about to rush to his aid when suddenly, it all ceased. The green glow vanished, and Danny wasn't going into those strange convulsions anymore. He stood upright and opened his dark gray eyes. He looked around him and saw the nerd and Dash's goons.

"Bullies." He whispered angrily as he walked into the men's room. He came out as Danny Phantom, turned invisible, and walked over to the jocks. He then yanked them by their boxers, turned the jocks and himself intangible and flew out of the school where he dropped them in the fountain outside. His noble job finished, he flew back into the school and turned visible again. The nerd looked at him as if he was Jesus coming back for the apocalypse.

"Wha...Who...How...?" The poor, frightened nerd stuttered.

"I," Danny began as if he were Superman "Am Danny Phantom."

"Okay...but—"

"And," Danny continued, assuming a heroic stance "Wherever there is a single nerd, geek, freak, or loser in—" Suddenly, Danny blinked and looked around with glowing green eyes. He had a confused look on his face, which turned into a frightened one as he noticed that he was in ghost mode.

"Eauuugh!" Danny squealed "How long was I in ghost mode?! What's happening?!" He was about to keep babbling when he noticed the nerd whimpering by his feet. The nerd looked up at him with a haunted look and tears in his eyes.

"P-p-please d-d-don't huh-hurt m-meee m-m-Mr. f-f-Phantom." The nerd whimpered.

"Why would I hurt you?" Danny asked sincerely.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING!!!" The nerd wailed. He got up and ran down the halls, sobbing with his hands in his eyes. Danny looked at the pathetic and easily frightened nerd as he headed back to the bathroom. Jazz could just hear him mutter, "That makes two of us."

* * *

"'The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.'" Jazz said as she prepared for another day of tutoring. "Unfortunately, Dash has yet to actually take the first step. I'm beginning to think that my thesis is a bust." As she finished, Dash Baxter walked into the room, reeking of too much cologne and a hint of perfume.

"Hey there, sweet cheeks." Dash greeted while trying to grin seductively, and not succeeding. "You're favorite student has arrived."

"Why do you think that you're my favorite student?" Jazz asked as she noticed the perfume "And why are you wearing perfume?"

"Well, it was a long practice and it got really hot, so I got really sweaty and stinky, and perfume was the quickest thing I thought of to cover up the smell, then I remembered that I had tutoring today, so I bought some cologne and used it to cover up the perfume." Dash explained.

"And that run-on sentence brings us to today's lesson, the rules of grammar." Jazz explained, as she walked over to the table. Fifteen minutes of fruitless attempts of tutoring passed before Jazz excused herself to the bathroom, perhaps to scream in agony. When she came out of there, she noticed that Dash's eyes glowed a weird green color.

"_Danny?" _Jazz thought to herself _"But why would Danny be possessing Dash when I'm tutoring him?" _She sat back down and shuffled her papers. "Okay Dash, when we left off, we were covering predicate nominatives and predicate adjectives. What is the predicate nominative/adjective in this sentence: Disney World was one of the first theme parks ever built."

"The predicate nominative's "one" right?" Dash answered.

"No, it's not." Jazz said "Disney World isn't one."

"But it's "one of the first theme parks", right?" Dash asked.

"Yes, but "one of the first" is describing the theme park." Jazz explained.

"So, that means "theme park" is the predicate nominative?"

"Let's check," Jazz said "Disney World **is** an theme park, and a theme park **is** Disney World. So, you're right." Jazz broke out into a huge grin. "You're right. YOUR'E RIGHT! **YOU'RE RIGHT!**" She was so happy, she could have broken into a jig right there in the room. Instead, she whipped out a tape recorder and pressed the record button.

"October 8th, 2004." She began "At five-fifteen this day, Dash actually got one of the questions right! My thesis is correct! THEY CAN BE TAUGHT!" She was going to continue acting giddy, when she realized something. _"Dash's eyes were glowing green when I asked him about predicate nominatives/adjectives. But why would Danny take over Dash to make him look smart?" _Jazz pondered this for a moment _"Maybe he noticed how stressed I was getting, and maybe he wanted me to feel better." _It didn't seem likely thought, and it seemed even less likely when Danny walked in the room, while Dash's eyes were still glowing green.

"Hey Jazz," Danny greeted "Hey, Dash" he squeaked trying to sound as friendly and non-intimidating as possible.

"Hey Danny." Dash said as he turned around to greet the black haired teenager. Danny wasn't expecting this.

"_He called me DANNY?" _Danny thought to himself _"And his eyes are glowing green! He looks like he's possessed, but I don't sense any ghosts." _Obeying the ever-constant laws of irony, blue mist poured out of Danny's mouth. Blue mist also came out of Dash's mouth, but nobody really noticed at the time. From the kitchen cabinet, a smoggy cloud of green gas snaked out and transformed into a forty year old, squat, blue-skinned man wearing what seemed like a postal worker's outfit.

"I AM the BOX GHOST!" the postal worker hollered "King of cardboard containers! Sultan of squareness! Overlord of oblong objects! Ruler of--"

"Could you shut up?" Jazz said "I'm trying to tutor someone."

"Oh, is that so?" The Box Ghost asked "Well it looks like you're studying will come to an abrupt end," He levitated some cereal boxes in the air "When you are CRUSHED by...uh..." He looked at one of the boxes and read the description. "Uh...oh yeah! CRUSHED by Kellog's Rice Krispies cereal!" He tossed the box at Jazz, and missed horribly. Still, it was frightening and Jazz yelped as she ducked out of the way. The box of cereal crashed into a wall, and a bunch of Rice Krispies spilled out, shouting fake Japanese expletives. The Box Ghost looked at the sight in sheer horror.

"Oh no..." He moaned in fear "They are OVULAR!"

"Oh chi kee na ka soo way!" a cereal piece shouted.

"Zoo noo oh tie!" another one hollered.

"I cannot STAND rounded objects!" The Box Ghost cried "They are so UN-BOX-LIKE in every WAY." He turned intangible and flew out of the room, crying in agony. Fortunately, Danny didn't need to go ghost, since the battle was so easily won, so his secret identity was safe. At that moment, Dash shook his head wildly and his eyes returned to their original periwinkle sheen.

"Hey!" Dash shouted "What's twinkie doing in here! You're ruining my alone time with Jazz!"

"Okay, okay!" Danny said nervously, "I'll get out." As Danny left the room, Jazz sat back down to resume the lesson.

"Now, Dash," Jazz continued "What's the predicate nominative/adjective in this sentence: This filet mignon I was eating from Applebee's tastes too bitter for human consumption."

"Ya know," Dash interrupted, donning a love-struck expression "I think you're gorgeous when you say pred...predi...perdi...words I can't pronounce." Jazz sighed heavily and took out her tape recorder, and pushed the record button again.

"Easy come," she said in a defeated tone "Easy go." To everyone's surprise, The Box Ghost popped back into the room to leave a parting message.

"Uh...Beware!" he shouted as he left the room.

* * *

Oh, by the way, the part about Prufrock Prep and Mr. Remora was a reference to a Series of Unfortunate Events. It's a really good series, but my parents didn't like it because they don't like the idea of what's happening to those children. However, since I am not a parent, I can handle it. Besides the bad stuff and all, its really funny! I'm a bit obsessed by it now. So much that I drew a pic of the DP characters as AsoUE characters. I think it's pretty good. Anyway, I look forward to writing the rest of the fic, and if I ever get to "Frayed Timeline" I will have fun with Danny Masters. BTW, here's an excerpt from what I have written so far.

* * *

"Are you INSANE?!" Technus shouted "Oh wait, yes you are. But WHAT are you THINKING?"

"It's just a time machine." Vlad said "Making one should be child's play for a scientist of your caliber."

"It's not really a matter of whether I can build it or not," Technus started "It's a matter of changing time itself! Altering the timeline has serious consequences!"

"I'm only changing one event. I don't think that would do too much damage." Vlad stated.

"What're you changing?" Technus asked suspiciously.

"That fateful day when I became half-ghost." The billionaire answered.

"I was right. You ARE insane!" Technus shouted flabbergasted. "Why would you give up your halfa-ness? Ever since that accident, you've had astounding amounts of power, billions of dollars, and a relative amount of fame in the Ghost Zone! Why would you give all of that up?"

"For love..." Vlad answered dreamily.

"I swear, you halfas are so confusing sometimes." Technus mumbled to himself. "But hey, it's your money that's funding this, so I'm not complaining." He paced around the room for a bit. "Speaking of complaints, I just realized that I couldn't POSSIBLY build this own my own."

"WHAT?!" Vlad cried in astonishment.

"Yeah, I lied about the whole it's not a 'it's not a matter of whether I could build it or not' bit. It's near impossible to make a time altering device on my own."

"But...but..." Vlad sputtered.

"I'm gonna need Skulker's help on this one." Technus concluded.

"You mean you got me worked up for NOTHING?!" Vlad howled.

"Yep. I did."

* * *

I hope you liked it. Seeya next chapter!


	2. Parents, Figures, Letters, and Gray Boys

I wish I knew when the new DP eppys are coming out. I looked online and it said that Shades of Gray wasn't coming on this week or the next week. Hey Danny?

Danny: Yeah?

Me: Out of curiosity, is the eppy called Shades of Grade 'cause it involves one of those ghosts from Poindexter's ghost school?

Danny: How should I know?

Me: It's your TV show, dingus!

Danny: Can't argue with that logic. If you must know, the answer is (answer withheld so as not to spoil the eppy. Ha ha)

Me: Thanks Danny! BTW, I'm mentioned in ObiOtaku's fic, The Bishonen Ghost Boy, and I got to glomp Joey! Yay!

Sam: In the fic, he's Jonouchi.

Me: So?

Sam: And besides, you glomp Joey all the time. Why should you doing it in a fic make it any more special?

Me: You have a point there. (glomps Joey.)

Joey: OW! You're bad at glomping!

Me: So? I don't own Dannny Phantom or Yu-Gi-Oh!

Joey: What does that have to do with anything?

Me: Standard disclaimer!

Everyone else: --U

* * *

Like Mom and Apple Pie

It was 3:10 and Sam entered her house as she finished her school day. The red brick house was relatively large, about three floors high, but it was rather plain on the outside. The living room right next to the front door also looked plain. If anybody who ever entered her house were told that Sam and her family were wealthy, they would've been shocked at the modesty shown in the exterior of the house. Sam dropped her book bag on the floor and walked to the kitchen. Her mother was in the room, balancing a checkbook.

"Hi Sammy," her mother greeted "How was your day?"

"It was good," Sam answered out of habit. Ever since Danny became half ghost, she had been vague about how her school life was, since a good portion of it involved fighting ghosts. Sam hoped that her mom wouldn't try to pry deeper into her life, like she usually did.

"Samantha Manson!" Her mother exclaimed "What are you wearing?"

"Um, a black midriff tank top, a black and green plaid skirt, lavender stockings and combat boots." Sam answered worriedly "Why?"

"Well just LOOK at you!" her mother ranted "Look at how much **skin** your little tank top is showing! And if that tight fitting skirt and tight fitting stockings doesn't yell **Atlantic City**, I don't know what does!"

"Mom," Sam corrected "Stockings are **supposed **to cling to your skin like that. That's also why they're called **tights**." Her mother put her head in her hands and sighed.

"Sammy," her mother said melancholically "Why can't you be—"

"—Exactly like everyone else?" Sam finished.

"Of course not Sammy!" her mother exclaimed in an outrage "I was going to say, 'Why can't you be different from everyone else?'."

"Eh, just a bit of wishful thinking on my part." Sam said.

"Sam! We've been over this a million times. You shouldn't want to conform! You should want to be different! Unique! Your own you!"

"_You've never let me be my own me." _Sam thought to herself. She decided to change the subject. "So how was work today?"

"Oh, it was good." Her mother said. One of the great things about Sam's parents was that if there was a change in conversation, they went with it. They loved change and individuality as much as Danny's parents loved ghosts, which is a bit in overdrive. "We've finished with the wooden beams and we'll be putting up the actual walls sometime soon." Perhaps now would be a good time to tell you that Sam's mother was a construction worker. She usually wore blue denim overalls, worker boots, an old shirt she wasn't going to be using for special occasions, and her short red hair was always up in ponytail.

"Well, that's great!" Sam said hurriedly "Well, I'd better get started on my homework now! Seeya!"

"Not so fast, young lady." Her mother said sternly. "We're going to continue this conversation about conformity when your father gets home."

"Mom, why do we have to keep talking about this?" Sam groaned "Why can't you let me do what I want?"

"Are you sure it's what you want?" her mother asked. Sam didn't exactly know how she would answer that.

"I thought so." Her mother concluded. "Now you should get that homework done. We'll discuss this at dinner when your father gets home."

"Okay," Sam said in a dejected tone as she headed upstairs to her room.

* * *

Meanwhile back at the ranch, or the Fentons' house to specific, the Ghost Portal was acting a bit oddly. Lights were flickering from the control space near the portal, smoke was coming out of the machine, and many strange buzzing noises came from the machine. Then, the flickering, fumes and noises got progressively worse, and the control panel started shaking. As the effects worsened, the portal itself joined in the shaking as well. The machine was overloading! It seemed as if it was going to explode! Then the portal opened, green light pouring from the entrance, and a figure walked out of the doorway.

All at once, the smoke lessened, the lights flickered more slowly, and the noises died down. When the portal closed, the noises stopped, the shaking ceased, the light turned off completely, and no more smoke came out of the machine. All light was cut off from the pitch-black basement, except for the figure's glowing red eyes.

"So," it snarled "**This **is the home of the notorious Danny Phantom. I expected it to be a bit more well kept." It walked around the room, examining it to the best of its ability, with no more light than its glowing red eyes.

"I have heard much about this boy wonder." It continued "Perhaps I will meet him one time." A gurgling noise was heard in the room, and the figure realized that it was its own stomach "But that's not my main concern right now. I can sense many teenagers in this town, all filled with emotion." The figure started salivating a silver, luminescent drool "Sweet, delicious, tender emotion. But, that will not be for long." It started heading back to the ghost portal "All I need are my lackeys and the right equipment, and I will have the feast of a king!" It started chuckling horribly as it headed back to the Fenton Ghost Portal.

* * *

The next Monday at school (Since October 8th is a Friday), Danny, Tucker and Sam were walking down the hallway talking.

"The I hear Jazz squealing something about people being taught," Danny began "So I walk in to see what's going on. There's Jazz, jumping for joy, and there's Dash looking at her strangely."

"So?" Tucker asked "What're you getting at?"

"I said hi to Jazz and Dash, and Dash said high back to me." Danny continued sounding a bit frightened. "And he called me **Danny**. And he sounded **nice**! And he had **glowing green eyes**!"

"Were you possessing him and making him do all of those things while looking in a mirror?" Tucker joked.

"No, I wasn't." Danny answered. "Then my ghost sense went off and the Box Ghost attacked us for some reason. After the attack, Dash went back to normal."

"That does sound strange." Sam said as she stopped to open her locker. "You think it's a new ghost?"

"I dunno," Danny said "There were those rumors about the vampires in this city."

"But vampires are fake!" Tucker said as he doodled on his PDA while waiting for Sam. "You only see them in Hollywood!"

"That's exactly what you thought about ghosts, but here we are fighting them on a regular basis." Sam replied as she rooted through her locker.

"I hope its another ghost." Danny said. "Vampires always creeped me out, and its been worse since I first saw Vlad."

"I know what you mean." Tucker said a bit nervously "I remember when he looked at me with those blood red eyes, it was like he was boring into my skull!"

"Yes, yes, we all agree that Vlad's frightening beyond belief." Sam said. "But that's not the issue right now." She took a folded up piece of paper from her locker "This is the issue." She finished handing the paper to the other two boys.

"What is it?" Danny asked her.

"Read it for yourself." Sam answered. Danny unfolded the letter and read what it said.

"'My Dearest Samantha," Danny began. "It was not long ago since I was first seen you, and ever since that glorious moment, I have fallen madly in love with you. Your ebony black hair shimmers like a beautiful eclipse. Your eyes remind me of fragrant lavenders growing in a majestic garden. Your perfect teeth shimmer like stars with the radiant sun that is your individualist personality. I would love to meet you in person, but I am simply too shy to reveal myself right now. Hopefully I will be as courageous as you in the future and finally show my face. Sincerely, Your Secret Admirer.'" The trio just stared at the letter in silence until somebody spoke up.

"Wow, that's deep." Tucker said.

"Somebody's in love with me because I'm an individual?" Sam said to herself. "The certainly sends some kind of message, but I'm not sure what it is?"

"What'd you say?" Danny asked.

"Nothing." Sam said, "We'd better get to class before the late bell rings." Sam put her love letter away in her pocket as Danny, Tucker and she headed off to their separate classes.

* * *

In locker 724, a broken mirror was hanging on one of the hooks on the inside. The mirror had a gilded frame with ornate designs, and it had little bits of glass still on it. The mirror glowed green as a gray, nerdish, teenage boy made its way out of the mirror. He turned invisible as he floated towards Sam's locker. He noticed that she had taken out a piece of paper, read it, and discussed it with her friends. A smile crept across the gray boy's face.

"Good, she read the letter." He said happily "And she didn't throw it out! I feel so happy, so giddy, I just want to shout out my love from the rooftops!" He paused for a moment, a frown slowly replacing the smile. "But I'm too nervous to tell her in person! Maybe the Love Big can help." His mind made up, he flew back into the mirror thinking _"Even if he is amazingly annoying, he's probably my best chance!"_

* * *

Everyone else: STILL --U

Me: Shut up!

Joey: We weren't talking! --U

Danny: He's right. --U

Sam: --U

Me: At least Ernest still likes me. Right Ernest?

Ernest: Quack! --U

Me: Whatever! I'm gonna thank the reviewers!

Kaliann: Weirdness is my fuel. So I will go for it. You get a Millennium Puzzle.

Khrystiana: Thanks! And a to you too! You get a Millenium Scales.

Jacks Ghost Gal: Really. Then my story's working! But what about Dash and Danny? They were both weird! You get a Millennium Ankh.

Cheerin4danny: I think I will! Thanks! You get a Millennium Ring.

Ghostly Hamburger: Not exactly Poindexter GH. Not exactly (I like being cryptic!) You get a Millennium Eye.

Shaadra-shadow: I'll try to get Frayed Timeline up soon. I have been waiting to write Danny Masters in that story. And Jazz Plasma, but I'm not sure if she should be in that story or not. You get a Millennium Rod.

Saiya Woods: I'm glad you decided to read the rest of my fics. As for MAAPOL, it was pretty spur of the moment. Shortly after seeing Bitter Reunions I wondered if anybody tinkered with the idea of Vlad/Danny yet. They didn't and I was surprised. And after months of thinking and trying to get the nastier images out of my head I completed this fic. And I know what it's like to accidentally be a fan of something. In fact, I thought Vlad/Danny was disturbing before I wrote this fic. So why did I write this fic? Well, you get a Millenium Tauk.

Blossoming Orange Rose: Really? That wasn't what it said on You get a Pyramid of Light.

Reviewers: --U

Me: AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIGHH!!!(leaves the room and leaves befind a notice that says "Review!")


	3. Shadow Shoppe and the Rainy Day Debate

Hey all! I love the person who invented Labor Day. Unfortunately I didn't wear all white due to the fact that it might get colder today, but it's still good, because I have provided a new chapter! I just have two announcements, and those announcements will be made by Danny and Sam.

Danny: Okay. Anyway, ZAGRH8R's hidden something special in this chapter. If you guess what it is, she will draw a DP fanart for you and give you the link on deviantart.

Sam: Also, she needs phrases and lingo from the 1950's because Poindexter will become a pivotal character in this fic. Please post the phrases or URLs in your reviews.

Ernest: Quack! (Magically makes a sign that says, "Shades of Gray airs September 24th!")

Me: ERNEST! It was supposed to say, "I don't own Danny Phantom!"

Ernest: Oops!

* * *

Like Mom and Apple Pie

"Welcome to the six o' clock news at five! I'm top anchorman Noah News to keep YOU in the know!" said Noah News. "Today's top headline is about a new store in the local mall called 'All About the Shadows', or as some like to call it, the 'Shadow Shoppe'. Over at the site we have roving reporter Izzy Goodnews to tell you more." The camera at the news station turned off and switched to a camera at the Amity Park Mall. A man, apparently Izzy Goodnews, stood by a gothic looking store with a microphone in his hand.

"Thanks Noah!" Izzy replied "I'm here at the new store which is much like a Hot Topic, except it also sells music and comics as well as clothing and trinkets. But that's not the real headline news here!" Izzy walked over to the front "The real mystery is that this store was built overnight! Before, there was a closed down store that was going to be made into a Wendy's, or something, but now, a phantom Goth gathering that seems to have appeared from the shadows! Hence the nickname, 'Shadow Shoppe'."

"I thought it was called 'Shadow Shoppe' cuz it was shorter for 'All About the Shadows'." A bystander interrupted.

"Shut up! I'm the reporter here!" Izzy barked, "I am the Alpha and Omega of the media! My word reigns supreme! I rule the airwaves! Muahahahahaha!!!" He would have gone on with his sickening laughter if he didn't notice everybody was staring at him. However, he did and he didn't, so he continued with the news, wearing a stupid and over-cheerful grin. "Erm...sorry about that interruption! Here to tell us more about this store is the owner, Malorie leViolet." He walked over to a girl who looked as if she was in her twenties.

The store owner wore a navy blue midriff shirt that was cut down to just above her breasts an had sleeves that barely attached to the shirt, baggy, orange cargo pants, and jet black combat boots with grayish soles. Her accessories included a spiky purple earring on her right ear, a black belly button ring, a black wristband with a silver star on her left hand, a black wristband with a silver crescent on her right hand, and a navy blue chocker on her neck that had a silver lock on it. She also had a black tattoo of a moon and a star on her left shoulder, a black tattoo of a sun on her right shoulder, lavender eye shadow, black lipstick, lavender eyes, black, peek-a-boo-style hair with purple streaks, and pale Caucasian skin.

"So, Malorie—" Izzy began.

"Mal." Malorie corrected.

"So, Mal, exactly how did you get your store up and running overnight?" Izzy eagerly asked.

"Well, I have a lot of experience in this sort of thing." Malorie said "After all, I have had many other stores all across the U.S."

"So it's a chain?" Izzy asked.

"Not really." Malorie said. "Every time I move I have to close the other stores down."

"Really?" Izzy asked. "Why is that? Couldn't you get someone else to run the store?"

"Nobody can run my stores the way I can." Malorie answered "And if they could, they'd have to be absolutely perfect for the job. Ya know, sorta like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Besides, I move because there usually isn't any more business to be done there."

"Wow, sounds hectic!" Izzy said.

"Hopefully I'll get plenty of business here in the Amity Park Mall." Malorie added.

"And that's all we have to talk about here!" Izzy said, "I'm Izzy Goodnews and all your news are belong to us!"

* * *

Sam turned off the TV in her room and looked at her biology textbook. Her dad was coming home in a few minutes to discuss her alleged problem with non-conformity. She never really understood why her parents were so obsessed with being different. Sure expressing yourself was all well and good, but some of the things they did didn't really express themselves. For instance, her mother had wanted to be a actress for the longest time, but she had given up that dream because it seemed too cliché.

She heard a knocking on the door and she sat up on her bed.

"Who is it?" Sam asked.

"It's your father, jujube." A male voice from the other side of the door answered. "Can I come in?"

"Whatever," Sam answered. A man about six feet tall with short black hair and a small black moustache walked into the room. He wore a blouse-like, cream colored, long sleeved, silk shirt with ruffles on the sleeves, bottom and collar and a maroon vest. He also had tree-bark brown, skintight pants and black boots that were just above his ankles. As some might guess, Sam's father was a model for new and unusual clothing.

"So, what's this I hear about conforming?" her father asked in a kind and concerned voice.

"I don't want to conform." Sam answered.

"You're mother seemed a bit concerned about your choice of clothing." Her father pointed out.

"What's wrong with my clothing?" Sam asked "It's Goth! Hardly anyone at my school wears Goth clothing."

"Well, you have a point there." Her father said while rubbing his chin. He walked out of the room to a nearby staircase and yelled to his wife downstairs. "Dear, your daughter has a rebuttal!"

"I don't care whether Goth is different or not!" Sam's mom replied. "Okay, so I do care, but I just don't want my daughter to look like a hooker!"

"Dearest, don't you know that all the other parents worry about their daughters dressing in revealing outfits?" Sam's father argued, "Well, except for Mrs. Sanchez, but her ethics have been questionable."

"Oh, I forgot." Sam's mother admitted sheepishly "Sorry about that Sammy!"

"As I was saying earlier," Sam's dad continued "What's this about conforming?"

"I didn't say anything about conforming!" Sam exclaimed.

"Oh really?" Sam's mom answered, "What about when you said that you wished I'd ask you to be like everyone else?"

"I never said that!" Sam protested.

"Yes you did! I was saying 'Why can't you be—', then you butted in and said '—Exactly like everyone else?' Then I said 'No, I was going to say, "Why can't you be different from everyone else", and you said 'Just a bit of wishful thinking on my part.'"

"I just didn't want to be lectured on being different!" Sam answered. Sam's father walked over to her and put her arm around her shoulder.

"Jujube, you know we only want what's best for you." Sam's father said, "You know we love you and respect your opinions, but we don't want you to be the same as everyone else. Sure it may mean giving up your favorite food since so many other people like it too, but in the long run, it'll be worth it." Sam walked downstairs and grabbed her a hunter green hoodie from a nearby coat hanger and headed outside. Her mother turned around from the phone and glared at her.

"Samantha Manson! Where are you going, young lady?" Sam's mom confronted.

"Out." Sam answered while grabbing a black umbrella. "If you only want what's best for me and you respect my opinions, than you'd better show it!" As she donned the hoodie and opened her umbrella, she looked angrily at her parents before she walked out into the cold, rainy night.

* * *

Well, 'tis time to thank the reviewers!

Ghostly Hamburger: Yeah, I meant Love Bug. He's starting to become a bit of a supporting character for my fics. Except for TMOAR (The Musings of a Replacement). BTW, the millennium eye's from Yu-Gi-Oh! You get a Sam's Mom plushie.

Cheerin4danny: I'm glad you like Poindexter and my villain. Speaking of which, could you send me a URL where I can get some decent 50's lingo. I know zip except for what Poindexter said in Splitting Images. You get a Sam's Dad plushie.

Aura Spectre: Well, it's pretty original if the pairing's never been used before. Most fics are Danny/Sam, Danny/Dash, and a few Tucker/Sam. You get a Malorie leViolet plushie.

Khrystiana: Thanks! You get an Izzy Goodnews plushie.

TheWeasil: Yeah, I live for bizarre. You get a Noah News plushie.

Please review and send 50's lingo!


	4. I'm Comin' For Ya!

Me: Can you believe it took me this long to get the next chapter up?

Danny, Sam and Joey: Heck yeah!

Danny: I mean with all the homework you have—

Sam: And the extracurricular activities—

Joey: And the extra stuff after school—

Sam: --U

Joey: Why wouldn't it take this long?

Me: True. However, I have much to look forward to this September. A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Grim Grotto comes out on the 21st, Shades of Gray airs on the 24th, and Nickelodeon Freeze Frame Frenzy comes out on the 27th! Woot!

Standard disclaimer: SHADES OF GRAY COMES ON IN ELEVEN DAYS! And I don't own DP.

(1) I got the idea from Luigi's Mansion. Especially when I noticed the similarities between Luigi's Mansion and the Danny Phantom Ghost Sweep game on nick(dot)com.

* * *

Like Mom and Apple Pie

"My, my, my," Walker chuckled sinisterly as he looked at the ghost sitting in the chained chair. "I have never **ever **seen as much rule-breaking as I have with you." He started pacing around the room while reading a file on the prisoner. "Now, according to this file you are charged with the following offenses: Breaking and entering, theft, interfering with human affairs—"

"If that's such a horrible thing," the prisoner asked, "Then how come no one else has been charged for it?"

"Because I can accept bribes," Walker snarled "And you have nothing to offer."

"Yes I do!" the prisoner exclaimed.

"Be silent! As I was saying, you're also charged with illegal use of a product unauthorized by the GZFDA, distortion of human emotions, distortion of **ghost **emotions, and just being annoying." He leaned on one of the arms of the chair and smiled wickedly at the prisoner "And don't think I'm going to let you off the hook just because you set me up with lovely Ramona, Love Bug."

"But the crimes were justified!" The Love Bug cried, "It was my sacred mission to fill both the Ghost Zone and the Human World with **love**! How could you deny me my holy right?"

"Like this!" Walker said as he picked up a taser and electrocuted The Love Bug. The smell of roasted meat wasted up from the bug's charred exoskeleton. Walker inhaled the smoke and smiled wickedly "Ah, the smell of cooked bug. Perhaps when you die in here I'll cook you and have a feast with the Aussie ghosts."

"But that will not allow me to spread my love!" The Love Bug whined. Walker was about to electrocute him again when one of the guards rushed into his office.

"Sir!" the guard exclaimed in a frightened tone "This is a dire emergency!"

"It'd better be!" Walker sneered as he pointed the taser at the guard "I was having such fun torturing my new prisoner."

"One of the prisoner's escaped!" the guard exclaimed. Walker dropped the taser in surprise while his eyes narrowed viciously.

"Which one?" the white warden sneered.

"Number 362, sir!" answered the guard. Walker put his hand up to his chin and acquired the pose that some would use when they're thinking very hard.

"Number 362 has always been a crafty one." Walker said pensively "And as dangerous as it is crafty."

"Sir, the prisoners do have genders." The guard spoke up. Walker shoved the taser threateningly in his face.

"Do not correct me!" Walker sneered. "Now, where is the cell that the vermin escaped from?"

"R-ri-right this way, sir." the guard jittered as eh led Walker away from the office. As the guard and the Warden left, a gray boy, who looked to be no older than fifteen, walked into the office. He noticed The Love Bug strapped in the chair and a huge smile crept across his face. He ran over to the chair with the giddy expression still on and looked cheerfully at the constricted creepy-crawly.

"Boss!" the gray boy exclaimed exuberantly "I've finally found you!"

"Huh?" The Love Bug asked, tilting his confused head to one side. "I'm not even sure of who you are?"

"I'm Sidney Poindexter." The gray boy introduced. "Guardian of geeks, freaks, outcasts, and bullied adolescents!" His happy disposition turned to one of frantic despair. "Could you **please **help me?" Poindexter pleaded. "I'm hopelessly in love with this cool cat, Samantha Manson, and you're the only person I could think of for advice!"

"You're in love with a cat?" The Love Bug asked, "How wonderful! I have waited so long for a humanoid to show extreme love for an animal!"

"No, that wasn't what I meant." Poindexter explained "'Cool cat's' a term from the 1950's. Samantha's actually a human girl."

"Oh, well that's swell too!" The Love Bug said, "I have waited so long for love between a human and a ghost!"

"What about the older halfa who has a thing for some human chick?" Poindexter asked.

"Half humans don't count!" The Love Bug explained. "Anyway, what do you want?"

"Advice." Poindexter said.

"Well, how about this?" The Love Bug started "A dangerous criminal has just escaped from this prison. Most likely, he'll try to attack that younger, ungrateful, **heartless halfa**!!!" The Love Bug howled the last sentence with a heated fury that would have cooked his body to the perfect temperature for Aussie ghost consumption. "If I am not mistaken, your Samantha Manson lives in the same town as the halfa."

"How do you know where Samantha lives?" Poindexter asked.

"I made many humans fall in love in Amity." The Love Bug answered. "As I was saying, the ghost will attack in Samantha's hometown and she might be used as bait for the..." The Love Bug had to restrain himself from ranting anymore about Danny Phantom "...other guy. Of course, the bait could be a trap for him and he will probably fall into it. Thus, giving you the perfect opportunity to use the element of surprise, save Samantha, and perhaps even have a battle with the criminal! Or at least fake one, I have good connections."

"When you said that, you sounded smarter than you actually were." Poindexter pointed out.

"Well," The Love Bug admitted smugly "I **have **been reading Romance for Stunads recently."

"Why were you doing that?" The Love Bug shrugged his shoulders in response.

"So, is that a good idea," The Love Bug asked excitedly "Or is that a good idea?"

"That's actually a good idea." Poindexter admitted.

"I'm glad you think so!" The Love Bug said "Now, since I've helped you out with your romantic problems, would you mind terribly if you got me out of here?" However, Poindexter wasn't listening to what The Love Bug was saying. Instead he was running out the door of the office yelling something along the lines of "I'm comin' for ya Samantha!" Also heard from the hall was Walker saying, "Visiting hours are over punk! Do you want me to write you up for loitering?" The Love Bug looked down the hallway and, realizing that he wasn't going to be rescued anytime soon, started to sob horribly in a very annoying way.

* * *

Sam was walking in the rain with her hunter green hoodie and holding her jet-black umbrella. She was tired of her parents ranting about non-conformity and individualism, not that she didn't appreciate those qualities but she didn't appreciate ranting about them. So she decided to hang around with people who ranted about ghosts instead. The Fenton's house was less modest than Sam's home. It didn't scream "Look at me! I'm disgustingly rich!" but it did scream "Look at me! I'm obsessed with science!" Sam looked at the scene hopefully and rang the doorbell. A teenage boy with sky blue eyes, a white shirt with red decals, messy black hair, jeans, and red shoes answered the door.

"Sam?" the teenage boy asked, "What're you doing here?"

"I had a bit of an argument with my parents." Sam said "And I needed somewhere to cool down. Mind if I stay here for the night?"

"Umm..." the boy hesitated, blushing mildly.

"Is that your 'Yes' umm or your 'No' umm?" Sam asked.

"Umm..." he repeated.

"Thanks!" Sam said as she walked into the house and hung up her waterlogged hoodie on a nearby coat rack. She noticed that two grown people were working in the nearby kitchen. One of them was a intimidating, large man with blackish-gray hair, wearing an orange test pilot's suit with a black collar, ankle high boots and gloves that was working on a long silver tube that flared out at one of the ends. The other was an average sized woman wearing a tealish-blue equivalent of the man's jumpsuit, but with a hood and red goggles, who seemed to be reading some blueprints. The large man was pressing a red button on the tube furiously.

"I don't get it!" the man said, frustrated with the apparent failure "The calculations were absolutely right! How could it not work?"

"Jack, you put the batteries in backwards." The female pointed out "Congratulations, that's the tenth time you've done that this month."

"Maddie..." Jack said in a warning tone as he rearranged the batteries. After that, he presses the red button and a beam of pure white light came flowing from the flared end of the silvery tube. Just as Jack was about to celebrate his newfound success, the teenage boy butted in.

"Hey dad," the boy asked "Sam had a argument with her parents and she was wondering if she could stay here for the night."

"Do your parent know about this, Sam?" Maddie asked.

"Err...yeah," Sam said, "They're good with it."

"Well in that case, of course you can stay!" Jack said happily "But on one condition."

"What?" Sam asked.

"You have to witness my new invention!" Jack said gleefully as he cocked his head upwards towards the staircase. "Hey, Jazz! Come down here, my new invention's finished!" A teenage girl with long orange hair and teal eyes came walking down the stairs with a skeptical look on her face. She was wearing a black long sleeve shirt, black slip on shoes, teal Capris, and a teal headband.

"Dad, tell me this is not another one of your lunatic inventions." The girl moaned.

"Jazz, I'm actually a bit surprised you think that this is so abnormal," Maddie explained "We make a new ghost invention about every other week."

"Then how come every day you always seem to finish a new one?" Jazz asked.

"Because you're mother procrastinates." Jack answers.

"Really?" Maddie asked playfully, "Then would you care to explain this?" She held up a sandwich covered with green fuzz.

"What's that?" the boy asked suspiciously.

"A snack your father made last week and never ate." Maddie answered. A disturbed bout of silence filled the room, until Jack finally cleared his throat.

"As I was saying earlier," Jack started "Your mother and I just finished our newest invention!" He proudly held up the oddly shaped tube with a bed button. "I call it, The Fenton Flashlight(1)!"

"The what?" Sam asked, lifting up and eyebrow in confusion.

"The Fenton Flashlight! Thanks to a special type of ectoplasmic filament in the light bulb, the light from this flashlight can paralyze any ghost it touches for a few hours!"

"Any ghost it touches?" the black haired boy asked nervously while jittering and working up a cold sweat.

"Yep, any ghost the light touches." Jack said as he turned on the flashlight. The boy started inching away from his parents.

"Um...I'll be in my room!" he said frantically.

"Why the rush, son?" Jack asked while pointing the light in the boy's direction. "You're not a ghost are you?" The boy didn't answer, because when the light hit his body, he suddenly stopped running. It was as if the light had caused him to turn into a statue, assuming that statues had peach pliable skin. Jack walked over to his son and waved a hand in his face.

"Are you all right?" Jack asked, still waving his hand. "Hello? Are you in there?" Sam quickly grabbed the boy and started dragging him up the stairs.

"Sorry about that, Mr. Fenton," Sam said hurriedly "But Danny's had a rough day, and he really needs his rest, so I'd better take him upstairs!"

"You're not going to be **doing **anything up there?" Maddie asked suspiciously. "Are you?"

"Of course not!" Sam answered as she dragged the Danny into his room. Jack stood there pensively as he rubbed his chin with his hand. His face slowly light up with horrifying realization.

"My Fenton Flashlight affected Danny," he said surprised "That could only mean one thing." Maddie gulped and Jazz nervously twiddled her thumbs.

"It could only mean that my son...is the best actor I've ever seen in my life!"

Maddie and Jazz didn't really know whether to sigh in relief or to call Jack a moron.

* * *

Review thanking time!

BlackJagan: So far your fic seems pretty good. Shame most of the guys are gonna die. But WHY did you kill Vlad FIRST!? I'M and AVID VLAD FAN!!! (Chases BlackJagan with giant mallet) Oh, and you get a SpongeBob plushie.

Khrystiana: Yeah, Sam has bad parents. You get a Jimmy Neutron plushie.

Shaadra-shadow: Thanks! You get a Timmy Turner plushie.

WormmonABC: What makes you think my parents are against Harry Potter? Just asking? You get a Snap plushie.

Cheerin4danny: Thanks for the sites! You get a Jenny plushie.

Ghostly Hamburger: No, that's not the special thing. But you're pretty close. You get a Danny Phantom plushie.

Jacks Ghost Girl: Tucker'll probably overreact, or maybe he won't. Depends on whether the emotion-eating ghost attacks him or not. You get a Ginger Foutley plushie. And no, that wasn't the special thing hidden either. I didn't even know about the duck in Animal Crossing.

WrommonABC: ...Google never occurred to me. But rest assured, I will Google the 80's lingo that will probably be needed in Frayed Timeline. You get a Tommy Pickles plushie.

Review and enjoy your various prizes! Or whatever you happen to get...


	5. The Admirer and the Hero

Sorry again for the sluggish update. If it weren't for the fact I get to go to school late, this might not be updated at all. I'm still getting accustomed to all of the homework and trying to squeeze in time for the fic. The Grim Grotto came out yesterday, but I couldn't get it because the bookstore I reserved it at is too far away and my mom has classes and I can't drive. Hopefully I'll be able to get it this weekend though.

Speaking of which, I've been thinking of writing a Danny Phantom parody of A Series of Unfortunate Events. I have a basic idea of who the characters should be (although, in retrospect, I think that Desiree would have been a better Madame Lulu than Tocuna. Aw well, maybe Harriet could be Madame Lulu...) but do you think I should write it? Or would that ruin both medias? I'd better get to the story now, I'm kinda tired and I might go on a tangent if I continue any longer.

Disclaimer: I'm too tired to own Danny Phantom right now.

Tangent: My sense of humor is not unlike that of Lemony Snicket's. I also did a parody poster of AsoUE and DP. You can find it here: www(dot)deviantart(dot)com(slash)deviation(slash)10541097(slash)

* * *

Like Mom and Apple Pie

Sam, Danny, and Tucker were in the mall, eating in the food court. Tucker was trying to con Danny out of his fries, Danny was telling Tucker that he was perfectly capable of buying fries himself, and Sam was thinking about what Danny had talked about earlier.

"Get your own fires!" Danny exclaimed.

"But I love fries!" Tucker whined. "And I only have fifty cents!"

"Then get mozzarella sticks!" Danny answered.

"What? Mozzarella sticks don't cost fifty cents!" Tucker said. Danny just held up a flyer that said, "Special bargain at the Fast-E-Mart Concession Stands! Mozzarella Sticks are now only forty-nine cents!"

"But their mozzarella sticks taste **awful!**" Tucker retorted. "I like the ones from Backgammon's Pizza." At this remark, Danny held up another flyer that said, "Come to Backgammon's Pizza! Mozzarella sticks on sale for forty-eight cents!"

"But it doesn't cost fifty cents." Tucker said smugly.

"As much as I'd hate to interrupt your **riveting **debate over fries and mozzarella sticks." Sam interjected sarcastically. "I think you both would like to know that my secret admirer sent me another note." She reached into her backpack and pulled out another letter.

"Ooh! Looks like Danny has some **competition!**" Tucker joked.

"Whaddaya mean competition?" Danny asked angrily.

"Admit it, you're in love with Sam!" Tucker continued.

"Am not!" Danny snapped.

"Then why are you so flustered?"

"Ummm..." Danny hesitated "...What's the letter say?" Sam cleared her throat while she unfolded the letter.

"'My Dearest Samantha,'" Sam began "Oh, gee. How original. 'After getting some counseling from an expert in love I now what to do. I have decided to become your quote unquote phantom guardian. If you are ever in grave peril and if Danny Phantom is unable to help, then I will be more than happy to save you. Otherwise I will be watching over you, making sure that you stay out of trouble, and helping you with major science projects that you'll most likely have in the future. Unfortunately I am still to shy to show my face, but rest assured, I will be here when you need me. Sincerely, Your Secret Admirer.'"

"Is it just me," Sam asked when she finished the letter "Or are a lot of weird things happening now?"

"Like what?" Tucker asked as he snagged one of Danny's fries.

"Well, there's Danny's dad acting all romantic, Danny acting like a superhero nerd-defender, Dash acting like he's actually a human, the secret admirer letters, The Fenton Flashlight, and that new store that got built overnight." Sam listed as she took out a plate of mozzarella sticks and fries. "By the way, the secret admirer gave me this for some reason or another. You're welcome to them, Tucker."

"Sweet!" Tucker exclaimed as he grabbed the food and started munching on it. As Danny watched the grim spectacle (Tucker was eating the snacks especially fast and sloppily.) a trail of blue smoke was leaking out of his mouth and over towards one of the stores in the mall. The store was pointed gray on the outside with black vines with thorns all over the outside walls. By the store's entrance was a set of rusty gates with the thorny vines all over them. Above the gates was an ebony sign with the words "All About the Shadows" in navy blue letters and Tempus Sans ITC font. However, somebody spray painted the words "Shadow Shoppe" on the sign in blood red spray paint over the original words.

* * *

Spike was working as a cashier in All About the Shadows, which is a relatively boring job unless riots or fights break out. Besides that, it was also so extremely cold in there that he could see his own breath. He was about to take a nap when he noticed a lime green light cascading from the storage room. The light got stronger and stronger until a short, pudgy, blue man that looked like some sort of construction worker came out from the room, with a box levitating and covered with the same green light.

"I am The Box Ghost!" the floating man proclaimed, "Ruler of all things cardboard and square, and I have come to liberate my packaging brethren!" Three more boxes followed from the storage room. Under normal circumstances, Spike would have screamed like a little girl and ran out of the store if something like this ever happened. As it is, he was under a roof of a gothic store, not under normal circumstances. Also, he didn't feel particularly startled about the situation. To tell the truth, he didn't feel startled at all. Not even when that green eyed boy with white hair and a black and white jumpsuit flew into the room.

"How many times do I have to fight you?" the flying boy moaned in an exasperated tone.

"But I must **liberate **my fellow boxes!" The Box Ghost explained as he threw a box at the flying boy, "It is my sacred duty!"

"You sound worse than the Love Bug!" the boy said as he dodged the box. Suddenly, his hand glowed green, the boy pointed his hand at the ghost, and a lime green beam shot from his hand and hit the ghost.

"I know not of this Love Bug that you speak of!" the construction worker look alike proclaimed. "But I do know that **I am The Box Ghost** and I will—" He was cut off as he got sucked into a cylindrical container of some sort.

"Were you trying to sound smart?" the boy asked, "Because you weren't doing a very good job." As he slammed down a lid of some sort on the container, Spike's boss, Malorie leViolet ran out off her office, looking pretty annoyed.

"What's with all the ruckus?" Malorie snapped. She stopped for a moment when she saw the levitating boy. "Oh, I see now."

"What?" the boy asked, looking confused.

"I heard some voice saying 'I am The Box Ghost'," Malorie began "And you must have stopped him. Then again, what less can I expect from the infamous Danny Phantom?"

"Wait, you know me?" Danny asked, mildly surprised.

"Or should I say 'The Halfa', or perhaps you prefer 'Ghost Boy'." Malorie continued.

"I'm sorry about the mess in here." Danny said sheepishly.

"Eh, don't worry about it." Malorie said. "It'd probably be worse if you let The Box Ghost romp around." She walked over to a display and took off a black lanyard with a silver pentacle on it. "So, to show my gratitude for saving my store, I will let you have one item from here, free of charge." She dangled the lanyard in hi face as if she was tempting a cat with a mouse on a string.

"It's okay." Danny said. "You really don't have to do that just because a saved your store." Truth be told, he wasn't even interested in what they sold there. Malorie smile a wicked grin and draped the lanyard around Danny's neck.

"But I insist, Ghost Boy," she said seductively as she pulled the pentacle charm closer to his neck. "It's not proper etiquette to refuse an insisted offer." The pentacle charm was now so close to Danny's neck that if she pulled any tighter, she could strangle him. Despite this, Danny didn't fell intimidated or seduced. He simply felt ethical, so he flew around the store searching for something that interested him. Malorie could see that he was having a hard time choosing, so she got a Happy Noodle Boy shirt from off of one of her racks and gave it to him as she slipped the lanyard off of his neck.

"It would look so good on you." Malorie said as she took off the security tag. "And your white hair would stand out so well with it."

"Um, thank you." Danny said as he flew out of the store. Before he left, Malorie gave him a black card with twelve purple circles on it.

"A frequent buyer card." She explained, "Every time you buy an item, I punch a hole in one of the circles. When I punch out all twelve, you get twenty percent off of your next purchase."

"Why are you giving this to me?" Danny asked.

"I have a feeling that I'll be seeing you again very soon." Malorie finished as she walked back to her room, with a secretive smile on her face.

* * *

Now for the review...thanking...thing...I'm tired...I'll do it anyway though...

Firehedgehog: Snickering in a review...that's a first. You get The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket.

WormmonABC: Naw, they like Harry Potter. My grandfather's a Harry Potter fanatic. They just don't like the idea of three orphans that are heirs to a humungous fortune being pursued, a word which here means "stalked or chased", by a greedy, filthy count and his equally greedy but possible cleaner henchmen. And snap is a character from "Chalk Zone", and I think the plushies can be used in voodoo ceremonies. (sticks a pin in a really ugly Olaf plushie) OWCH! Of course, they might need some re-voodooing to work properly. You get The Reptile Room by Lemony Snicket.

Aura Spectre: Thanks! You get The Wide Window by Lemony Snicket.

Shaadra-shadow: It's amazing how smart people can be, and yet they have little or none common sense. You get The Miserable Mill by Lemony Snicket.

Cheerin4danny: Jenny's the robot girl from "My Life as a Teenage Robot" You get The Austere Academy by Lemony Snicket.

Ghostly Hamburger: Don't forget about the collab pic! You get The Ersatz Elevator by Lemony Snicket.

Jacks Ghost Gal: I really should have someone edit my fics before releasing them. And good luck with the dunk tank. You get The Vile Village by Lemony Snicket.

Now to take a page from Isadora Quagmire's book:

It would be very kind of you if, after you read, you would review. 


	6. Devoid

Umm...hello all. I'm posting this new chapter and...

Danny: Woah! ZAGRH8R! You look EXHAUSTED

Me: Yeah, don't get much sleep during school days.

Sam: Please tell me you're going to bed soon. For your own good.

Me: Yeah, just lemme advertise my deviantart website. Zagrh8r(dot)deviantart(dot)com. And now the disclaimer.

Disclaimer: Me no own DP. Now I give you the next chapter. (falls asleep on the floor)

* * *

Like Mom and Apple Pie

"Um, Danny?" Tucker asked as he and his two friends walked down the halls of school. "Since when do you wear black shirts with weird looking faces on it?"

"Oh this?" Danny asked as a gestured at the Happy Noodle Boy shirt he was wearing. "I got it from this girl who runs that new store, All About the Shadows."

"That still didn't answer my question." Tucker noticed.

"My other shirts were dirty." Danny answered "Besides, what's wrong with a little variety now and then?"

"It's probably Sam's influence," Tucker guessed "No offense, Sam."

"None taken." Sam quickly answered, while absorbed in her own thoughts and looking intently at her combat boots.

"I'm starting to think that you **are **a couple." Tucker added. Danny and Sam jerked up at this.

"We're not a couple!" Danny yelped while rapidly waving his hands with his arms extended forward.

"We're just really good friends!" Sam cut in, just as flustered as Danny.

"You even finish each other's sentences!" Tucker pointed out. "And you **both **said that you were having a 'fake-out make-out', in the exact same words too!"

"We're not a couple!" Sam and Danny exclaimed. Just then, Dash came in from around a corner, and decided to catch up with his usual amount of gibe and jeer.

"Aw, look at the two lovebirds!" Dash mocked as he saw Danny and Sam protesting. "You're absolutely perfect for each other! Danny's lame-o parents chase weird and stupid things, and Sam **is **a weird and stupid thing!"

"Says the man with the D- average and the pink and purple teddy bears." Sam cut in.

"And how'd you know about my parents?" Danny posed.

"Valerie was muttering something about your parents being ghost hunters." Dash answered. Just then, a look of realization crossed his face; he turned around to face a girl in the hallway, and yelled, "Thanks for the tip!"

"Shut it!" the girl shouted back.

"Ya know, Valerie's just as obsessed over weird and stupid things as Dorky Fenton's parents." Dash realized, as an especially cruel smirk lined his face. "Valerie and Sam might make a **better **couple than Danny and Sam!"

"I'm straight, you son of a—" Sam shouted.

"C'mon Sammy," Dash egged on "Let's see some lesbo action!" When Dash said that, Danny could feel anger welling up in his veins, boiling his blood, flooding his nervous system. How dare he do that to his friends? They did nothing to Dash...except be viewed as uncool in his eyes, but that wasn't even a misdemeanor! Danny wanted to give Dash a piece of his mind. Of course, he wouldn't use his ghost powers on him; he learned his lesson from Poindexter.

"Would you just shut **up**!?" Danny bellowed, pointing a finger angrily at Dash "Better yet, why don't you do the world a favor and **get a life **because it's completely **obvious **that you don't have one! Especially if you can't do anything **better **with your goddamned time than pester me and my friends!" Dash's face flushed with anger, his teeth were clenched and grinding down on themselves, his periwinkle eyes bulged out, and he was breathing so heavily, that smoke could come out of his nostrils. Dash tried to restrain himself while muttering "Relax...relax...remember to ten...think of pleasant things..." I'm sad to say that, for Dash, beating the living crap out of Danny qualified as a "pleasant thing"

"The hell with therapy!" Dash howled as he held Danny up by his collar and prepared the poor boy for the beating of his life.

* * *

It was lunchtime at the school, where the trash is as abundant as the decent food is scarce. Actually, that depends on which lunch lady you got your food from. There was once this lunch lady named Minerva who served delicious food, refreshing drinks and desserts baked and iced to perfection, but she died in a freak celery accident. She could still be seen haunting the school grounds today, to make sure the lunch menu isn't changed. Valerie Gray, a young and energetic ghost hunter, would have noticed the lunch lady prowling the cafeteria lines, if she wasn't so absorbed in her latest package.

Ever since she was forced to move into a grungy city called Elmerton, due to an accident involving a ghost boy and a green dog, she had been receiving packages from a Wisconsin dweller named Vlad. According to the note in his first package, he had sent her ghost-hunting items because he was concerned about her recent ghost troubles. Most of the times, they contained new ghost hunting equipment and a little note from her mysterious benefactor. However, this package was quite different from the previous ones.

_Since when does he include a letter with his packages? _Valerie thought as she eyed an envelope attached to her latest delivery. She carefully opened the envelope, ripped open the seal, and read the letter contained inside.

Dear Valerie,

I can see that you have quite a future in the ghost-hunting career. My sources say that you aren't exactly the best fighter, and you have some trouble handling the technology provided for you, but you have quite a lot of enthusiasm and spirit, pun unintended. I would train you to become a better ghost-hunter, but unfortunately the circumstances won't allow me to do that.

Now, I got together with some of my sources the other day and we discussed the matter about what seems to be your ghost-hunting career. Some of my associates feel that if you should be paid for your work, but others feel that since you fight ghosts voluntarily, paying you would be unnecessary. As for me, I'm pretty much in the gray area (Get it? 'Gray' area? Valerie 'Gray'? Ha ha ha ha...I'll stop joking now) so I need your vote on the matter. Of course, you're probably going to say "Yes" or "Hell yeah! Of course I'd like to be paid!" but what would I know? I barely know you. Best of luck in your newfound ghost-hunting career.

Sincerely,

Vlad

P.S. I heard that there's a ghost in your area that feeds on the emotions of teenagers. My sources say that the same ghost usually likes to prey on mall-going teenagers, so I advise you to be **extremely **careful the next time you go to the Amity Park Mall.

* * *

"Hey Sam!" Danny said from inside his locker, "Could you hurry it up? It's pretty cramped in here."

"I'm going as quickly as I can!" Sam replied as she fiddled with the lock on Danny's locker. She finally got it open and Danny fell out of his confinement and onto Sam. Following him were a science textbook, a math textbook, a lunch bag, a binder, and several pencils. As Sam struggled to get out of the flotsam and jetsam, she noticed that Danny was covered with bruises and abrasions and had a black eye.

"Woah! Dash really did a number on you!" Sam gasped.

"Mmhmm." Danny mumbled in assent as he winced in pain.

"I'm kind of surprised you finally stood up to Dash," Sam remarked "I always though you were to scared to do something like that."

"Same here." Danny remarked. "But for some reason when Dash started insulting you, I seemed devoid of fear or nervousness. I felt perfectly capable of standing up to him. Unfortunately, it was a pretty bittersweet victory because even though I had no fear, I didn't have any courage either."

"Wow, that was poetic." Sam said in approval.

"Plus I got all these injuries from the fight too." Danny answered, rubbing his arm. Sam looked at the black and blue boy, and sighed melancholically.

"Wanna hang out at the mall?" Sam asked, hoping the offer would take Danny's mind off of his newly acquired bruises.

"Sure." Danny replied. The two looked at each other with mixed feelings of concern. Danny looked at Sam because he was curious about these arguments she was having with her parents. Sam looked at Danny because of his injuries, and his sudden poetic nature.

* * *

Finally! I got another chapter up! Now to finally thank the reviewers.

Firehedgehog: It's the first book in A Series of Unfortunate Events. You get a Yugi (Yu-Gi-Oh) plushie.

WormmonABC: Eh, I'm okay. I finished a project for Social Studies and I finally get to post this chapter. You get a Hikaru (Hikaru no Go) plushie. And Malorie is freaky.

Random Reviewer: Thanks! And I will! You get a Goku (Dragon Ball Z) plushie.

Jacks Ghost Gal: Oh, sorry about your half naked teacher! And thanks for the review! You get a Luffy (One Piece) plushie.

Cheerin4danny: They're short because I like the whole cliffhanger angle. And I'd post this fic on your fic site if I knew the URL. You get a Yoh (Shaman King) plushie.

Ghostly Hamburger: Happy Noodle Boy's a comic made by Jhonen Vasquez. It's stupid and funny, but mainly stupid. In fact, here's some Happy Noodle Boy Comics so you can learn more about him.

Khrystiana: It's okay! Computers can be evil sometimes. You get a Naruto (Naruto) plushie.

The Cheryl One: Maybe you do have it. Hmmm...And you get another Happy Noodle Boy shirt (this time with Mentos!)

Cyertoy00: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ahead of you! And you'll know more about the thing later! You get a Beelzebub (Sandland) plushie.

Divagurl227: I will! You get a Yusuke (Yu Yu Hakusho) plushie.

Please, for the love of meat, REVIEW!!! And be sure to look for the special thing in chapter 3!


	7. Intentions Abound

Ladies and Gents, I present to you some now characters that I have abducted!

Sam: Whoop de doo.

Me: I present to you...Tucker, Dash, and Ember! (drags a hogtied Tucker, hogtie Dash, and hogtied Ember onto the set)

Tucker, Dash, and Ember: Why'd ya kidnap us?

Me: Tucker for comic relief, Dash to make fun of, and Ember because I like her music.

Ember: Sweet! Now tell me who you love, girly!

Me: Em-BER, Em-BER! (Ember grows her blue fiery ponytail back)

Ember: Yeah! Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!

Sam: What the hell did you do?!

Me: What? I like her with the ponytail. Lookit what's in between the frets of Ember's guitar! (zoom into Ember's guitar's frets that say 'ZAGRH8R doesn't own Danny Phantom')

Ember: You put this on my guitar? (really angry) They...must...DIE!!!

Ernest: (whistling innocently, if a duck can whistle)

(1) A French Poem. Translates into "I love two things, you and the rose. The rose for a day, and you for forever."

(2) Shel Silverstein is a poet. He did write a poem about a pet hotdog, I just can't remember it.

* * *

Like Mom and Apple Pie

It was around 4 after school when Sam finally got Danny out of his locker and into the mall. Sam was looking around for a place that sold pretzels that had an unpronounceable name, and Danny was curious about Malorie and her Shadow Shoppe.

"Hey, Sam," Danny began "You remember the other day when my ghost sense went off and trailed into the store?"

"Yeah," Sam answered "You told both Tucker and I about the fight with The Box Ghost, and the store owner giving you a free t-shirt and acting both scary and seductive at the same time. What about it?"

"You said it got built overnight, right Sam?" Danny inquired.

"Yea, why?"

"It just seems suspicious that an entire store could be up and running in just one night, and the lady said that she'd probably see me again."

"She could be crazy."

"And why is the store always so damn cold? You'd think that she'd turn up the thermostat a bit if she was wearing short sleeves. Not to mention the fact that I didn't feel scared or brave when facing Dash, or nervous when Malorie knew who I was."

"Hmmm, I think I see where you're going..."

Danny quickened his pace towards the Shadow Shoppe and Sam followed suit, understanding Danny's suspicions. Besides, she did need some new clothes so she might as well buy them there. As the couple walked into the cold gray store, they heard the blaring of heavy metal music, and saw various shoppers in browsing for t-shirts and such, including the more popular kids that wouldn't be seen dead at a Hot Topic. A door in the back opened up and Malorie stepped out from her room, with a "Jhonny the Homicidal Maniac" comic in hand. As she scanned her domain, her eyes rested on a specific customer...the one with the black hair, blue eyes, and the Happy Noodle Boy shirt.

"Hey, you!" she called "The one with the Happy Noodle Boy Shirt." Nobody really acknowledged her call, until Sam nudged Danny in the stomach and muttered, "YOU'RE wearing a Happy Noodle Boy shirt!" He quickly turned towards Malorie, wondering briefly what Happy Noodle Boy was.

"Where did you get that shirt?" Malorie asked suspiciously. Danny was about to explain, but then he realized that if he admitted that he was Danny Phantom, everybody would think he was a loon, and the media would probably stalk him for an eternity and a half. Malorie noted this silence carefully and asked, "Did you steal it?"

"No!" Danny quickly explained "Someone gave it to me!" Malorie, didn't look satisfied with the answer, especially not when she tackled him and pinned him to the ground.

"Yea," the goth gal sneered "You gave it to **yourself **after you **stole it**!"

"I didn't steal it! You have to believe me!!!" Danny said confusedly. Malorie suddenly released her grip and helped Danny to his feet.

"Of course not." She answered slyly. "This is a drill."

"Huh?" most of the patrons answered in response, turning toward the adroit assaulter.

"What you have just seen here," Malorie explained, "Was a shoplifting drill. If somebody actually stole something, then I or one of my employees would have called security." Her suspicious smirk turned immediately into a car salesman grin. "We at 'All About the Shadows' apologize for any inconvenience this drill has caused, and would like to offer a free tube of black cherry flavored lip balm to all of the customers who witnessed the drill as a compensation. Or consolation. Whatever they call it." She started handing the lip balm out to the customers as they left the shop. Some of the people sighed in relief, exhaling a whitish mist, possibly their breath in the cold store. After all of the customers exited, Malorie and her employees closed up shop, and went home. The only person left behind was Malorie herself. She simply went into her room and took out a yo-yo.

"So many people," Malorie snickered to herself "And so many profits in only two days. I knew this would end well. My little sister was a fool to gamble against me."

* * *

After going to the Shadow Shop, Sam and Danny met up with Tucker, who looked tired and dry.

"Tucker?" Sam asked "Why do you look so dry?"

"Dehydration contest." Tucker explained, "Hans Johan and I had a bet to see who could last the longest without water. Unfortunately, I won."

"Why did you have a dehydration contest?" Sam asked, taking out her complimentary chap stick.

"The prize was twenty five dollars." Tucker said eying the tube of lip balm enviously.

"If that's the prize, why did you say unfortunately?" Danny asked.

"Mom grounded me for acting stupid." Tucker said in defeat. "Hey, Sam, could I have your chap stick? My lips look as shredded as sharp cheese." Sam just shrugged her shoulders and gave Tucker the black and burgundy tube of lip relief.

"Speaking of grounded, could I have dinner at your place, Danny?" Sam asked.

"What does being grounded have to do with dinner at my house?" Danny asked.

"Absolutely **nothing**!" Tucker butted in. "She just wants an excuse to be around you, Danny!"

"That's not it!" Sam snapped.

"Then what is it?" Tucker asked. Sam didn't say anything about the matter, mainly because the question intruded into her personal life. Since other parents usually grounded their kids when they did something bad, the Mansons left Sam ungrounded. After all, they had other methods of punishment...

* * *

_A twelve-year-old Sam walked down the staircase as she headed for dinner. Half of her hair looked the way it did normally, and the other half was cut off except for an inch long tuft of hair. Her exposed ear had two lavender earrings, and she had a black dog collar with a brass bell as a charm. She also wore a hunter green plaid tank top, black baggy pants, a studded black bracelet on her right arm, and her black combat boots. She had stayed out past her curfew past the last ten days for one reason or another._

"_Hey mom," Sam said as he walked into the kitchen. "What's for dinner?"_

"_Cougar intestines with blue sauce and artichokes." Her mother answered happily. Sam resisted the urge to grimace at her mother's choice of cuisine. Not only because Sam was a vegetarian, but also because nobody really eats cougar intestines anyway._

"_Don't worry, sweetie." Sam's mother replied, noticing her daughter suppressing the grimace. "Your meal is **tofu **with blue sauce and artichokes." Satisfied with the logic, Sam ate her meal. He mother had served this meal for over a week, and Sam was starting to get tired of it. Of course, she didn't have any major problems with the food until one Thursday night._

"_M'm **m'm**!" Sam's father extolled "That is some **good** cougar! Oh, how I wish I had some more!" He looked down at his plate to find that he had eaten all of his cougar intestines, and when he looked at his wife's plate he discovered that she had done the same. He looked back at his plate with disdain, until he saw...**salvation**! Sam hadn't finished her meal yet! Sam's mother noticed the eager look in her husband's eyes and tried to calm him down._

"_Um, dear." Sam's mom jittered, "It really is a shame that all of the **cougar intestines** have been eaten, right?" She desperately added a wink._

"_Say, jujube." Sam's dad began "Could I have some of your food?"_

"_You mean the tofu or the artichokes?" Sam asked._

"_Tofu? I didn't see your mom prepare any tofu." Sam's dad replied._

"_Shhhhhhhhhhh!!!" Sam's mom hushed desperately. Sam looked at her plate in some disgust._

"_You haven't?" Sam squeaked._

"_Nope." Sam's dad answered. "In fact, I haven't seen your mother cook any tofu foods since that time we lectured you when you stayed out past your curfew." Sam's eyes bulged at the factoid, and her left eye began to twitch._

"_Does this mean that I've been..."_

"..._eating cougar intestines for the last week." Sam's mother finished with a look of satisfaction on her face._

"_But I'm a **vegetarian**!" Sam protested in a frightened tone. "How **could **you?!"_

"_Sammy, you didn't think you were off the hook just because you weren't grounded." Sam's mother explained. "We just found a different way to punish you." Sam howled a blood-curdling scream as she ran away from the horrid meat.  
_

* * *

Jazz was busy typing her thesis on tutoring the untutorable on her newly repaired computer. It worked wonderfully, but since her parents repaired it, the computer was known to shout "Ghost! **Ghost**! **GHOST**!!!" on occasion. As she was saving her latest entry, she heard a scraping from outside the door. It sounded squishy with some dry areas. The scraping was replaced by soft knocking, and Jazz opened her door.

"What's with the odd noi—YEAAUGH!!!" Jazz screamed as she saw a ham like disc, covered with burns and holding a bouquet of roses by its side.

"Bon soir, ma cher." It said in a Canadian accent as it pushed the bouquet towards Jazz. She looked down at the meat with confusion.

"Canadian bacon?" Jazz asked skeptically. "What are you doing here?"

"Wah, ah ahm just proclaymeeng ma love for you, ma cher." The Canadian bacon replied as he cleared his throat.

"Ah haf a poe-ehm for you."(1) The bacon proclaimed in a sing-songy voice.

"J'amore duex choses, toi et le rose. Le rose pour un jour et tu pour tourjour." When the bacon finished, he took a bow and tilted towards Jazz expectantly.

"Well," Jazz said, fishing for the words, "That's...really...nice..."

"Jazz! It's time for dinner!" a female voice from downstairs called. Jazz immediately rushed downstairs and prayed that they weren't having pork for dinner. Unfortunately, to her dismay, dinner was the hotdogs from her mother's earlier invention. Some of the hotdogs snarled rapidly, and the others looked like they were sleeping. Danny eyed the wieners suspiciously, Jack had tears welling up in his eyes, and Sam was just folding her arms.

"See? This is one of the reasons I'm a vegetarian." Sam explained. "You never know when the meat will bite you back."

"Jack, I know these hotdogs mean a lot to you," Maddie explained as she cut up some of her string beans. "And I know that you raised them like they were your children, but they have to go, and this is only way."

"But..." Jack sniffed "But...why can't we give them to a kennel, or the ASPCA, or some poor little kid who wants a friendly ghost hunting companion?"

"Jack, nobody wants a hotdog as a pet." Maddie reasoned.

"Really? What about Shel Silverstein?(2)" Jack sneered. One of the more wrinkled hotdogs howled woefully, and Jack picked up the hotdog and stroked it.

"It's okay, Oscar." Jack lulled. "I won't let you or May R. get eaten buy the big bad family."

"What?!" Maddie shouted in insult.

"Aw come on! If they **have **to die, which they don't, I don't want them to die in fear!" Jack argued.

"I'll take care of the hotdogs." Sam offered.

"Are you sure?" Maddie asked in confusion. "I mean, what would your parents say?"

"They'd probably approve." Sam said.

"That's what I'm afraid of." Maddie replied. The Fentons and Sam started eating their dinner, and in the middle of their meal the phone began to ring. Nobody really noticed because everybody was talking. After five rings, a loud whirring noise was heard with a few clunks, and then the answering machine turned on.

"Hello, you have reached the Fentons' residence." A recording of Jack's voice greeted "If you are a ghost, then the Fenton Answering Machine has probably trapped you inside. If you are a human, we can't reach the phone right now, so leave a message at the beep." The answering machine released a high-pitched beep and Sam said to herself, "That explains why Danny always has someone else call his house before he talks to anyone."

"Sammy?" Sam's mother inquired from the phone. "Are you there? Why haven't you shown up for dinner? Do you want us to replace your vegetables with replicas that are made from meat?" Jack excused himself from the table as his eyes turned lime green with black pupils.

"Hello?" he asked as he answered the phone, "Yes, this is Jack Fenton, Danny's dad, the head of the household, and certainly not Danny pretending to be him over the phone." He paused for a moment as he listened to Sam's mom. "Yes. Mm hmm. Yea. Well, of course not! Whaddaya mean 'maladjusted'?! No, really, I'm not sure what it means. Okay. Okay. Seeya." He walked back to the table and sat down in his seat, eying the living hotdogs oddly.

"What did my mom want?" Sam asked nervously.

"She said she was just concerned about where you were," Jack answered "Mainly because the weather reports said there was going to be a—" All of the lights in the house went out, leaving Sam and the Fentons in total darkness, except for Jack's glowing green eyes.

"—blackout." Jack finished. Sam got up from the table and tired to feel her way through the darkness.

"Sam, where are you going?" Danny asked in concern.

"Just looking for a flashlight." Sam answered as she grabbed a tube-like object. She found a rubber lump on the tube, pressed down on it, and white light poured from the tube.

"Don't you think you should stay here until they get the power back on?" Danny asked, ducking to avoid the beam of light.

"I don't want to worry my parents more than I already have." Sam said as she picked up a box with two hotdogs in it and headed for the door. "By the way, could I borrow this to get home?"

"Sure," Jack said, "Go ahead." As Sam left the room, it was flooded with pitch-blackness. Jack rubbed his eyes and felt around frantically for something. After many minutes of searching, he hollered "My Fenton Flashlight is **missing**!!!"

* * *

Ember: In exchange for thanking the reviewers, ZAGRH8R has agreed to get rid of the carvings in my frets and hurt Ernest since he did it.

Ernest: (shudders)

Khrystiana: You have unusually short reviews. But ZAGRH8R thanks you anyway. You get an iPod with the song "Remember My Name" by me, Ember, on it.

Random Reviewer: Don't feel glum about you constantly saying 'Dude'. I saw 'dipstick' a lot, but whadda I care? Kudos for the kudos, and I always thought that the biggest insult was being called a pussy. ZAGRH8R also thanks you, and wishes you good luck when you say that things are straight. You get a plushie of me, Ember! And for the record, ZAGRH8R's a dude-ette.

Cybertoy 00: ZAGRH8R is sorry to say that she doesn't know what a Dead Juju is, because she never played the game. You get an Ember poster, signed by the one and only.

Ghostly Hamburger: So? Evil's good! You just gotta learn to APPRECIATE IT! You like D/S eh? Maybe I'll play Cupid again...

Danny: Gulp

Sam:...

Danny: You're supposed to gulp!

Ember: Whatever! You get one of my CDs! And Jhonen Vasquez is the creator of Invader ZIM.

BlackJaan: She knows the feeling. She says it feels like an eternity and a half since she last updated. You get an Ember wig.

WormmonABC: Busch Gardens, eh? Didja go on Apollo's Chariot? And you'll be seeing more of Valerie in the future. You get an outfit exactly the same as mine, with make up!

Sakura Scout: She's glad to hear her story's one of your favorites! And what is Vlad planning indeed? And Danny MIGHT get more respect, but ZAGRH8R kinda doesn't know who saw Danny stand up to Dash. Besides, it doesn't mean that much if he doesn't have courage. You get an Ember t-shirt.

Firehedgehog: Your short reviews give Khrystiana a run for her money. You get the old expired tickets to my free concert that would have made me queen of the world. Believe me, if I was, I wouldn't be doing this here. I wouldn't even be here.

Cheerin4danny: She still doesn't see your URL. Maybe you should replace the .'s with (dot)'s. You get my autobiography.

Tucker: It's thin as a wafer.

Ember: SHUT IT DIPSTICK!!!

Aura Spectre: Yeah, she read The Grim Grotto. Says she can't wait for the next book so she can find out more about Kit. Did you read it yet? You get a hug from me, because I'm all out of merchandise.

Me: That's why you shouldn't give away narcissistic gifts. And if you find the special thing in chapter three or this chapter, I'll do a fanart request for you, and will post it on deviantart as soon as my scanner stops being evil and not letting me scan. Read and review!


	8. The Shadow Goddess

Danny: No

Me: C'mon!

Danny: Never!

Me: Please?

Sam: What's going on?

Me: I'm planning on rewriting "A Series of Unfortunate Events" with DP characters, and I want Danny to be Klaus Baudelaire.

Danny: And I am saying no.

Me: There could be worse fates.

Danny: Like....

Me: Well, this disgusting thought of your dad hooking up with Vlad occasionally plagues my mind...and I do wanna make a sequel to MAAPOL

Danny: (glum) I'm all yours. (I'm draggin him off stage) At least it can't get much worse.

Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom, or A Series of Unfortunate Events, or Cirque du Freak.

* * *

Like Mom and Apple Pie

It was two days since Danny and Sam last went to the Shadow Shoppe, and the entire school looked extremely different. Every person Sam saw was wearing some sort of black apparatus from the store. Even Dash and Paulina got caught up in the goth craze. Sam was walking to her fifth period class and noticed that Dash and his clique were just...hanging around in the hallways. The majority of what they were saying was "Blah blah blah Goth, blah blah blah punk, blah blah Evanescence, blah blah blah blah NNY."

"Dash." Sam asked raising an eyebrow. "You do know that 'blah' isn't a real word, and that you can't have a meaningful conversation if you just use it all the time."

"Why are you talking to me?" Dash asked nonchalantly.

"Because the fact that you're wearing stuff from Hot Topic is scaring me." Sam answered.

"Not Hot Topic." Quan corrected. "All About the Shadows."

"Yeah whatever," Sam said "Hot Topic, Shadow Shoppe what's the **difference**?!"

"There's **plenty **of difference!" Quan shouted. "Hot Topic's decent! All About the Shadows is like **Heaven**!!! And Malorie's our God!"

"Goddess," Dash corrected.

"Whatever!" Quan and Sam shouted as they threw their arms in the air. As they were yelling, Paulina ran down the hallway towards Dash and his clique. She was wearing a pleated hot pink skirt with black x's on every other pleat, a midriff tank top with translucent sleeves, tights with black and hot pink stripes, calf high boots with hot pink and black laces.

"Uhh..." Sam sputtered "Nice...outfit?"

"Yeah thanks whatever." Paulina said rudely as she walked towards Dash and the others. "Hey guys, wanna hear my new poem?"

"Sure," they all answered in a bored tone. Paulina took out a stained piece of paper, smoothed it out, and cleared her throat.

"I'm really bored. What interested me before no longer does. I'd kill myself but I like All About the Shadows too much." There was a bout of silence after Paulina's poem was recited, then Dash and Quan reluctantly applauded. Sam was just staring at Paulina bug-eyed, flabbergasted at the mere thought of a popular Hot Topic nut. The popular kids were staring at Sam strangely.

"What?" Paulina asked suspiciously, "You don't like my poem?"

"Um...erm..." Sam sputtered as a bead of sweat rolled down her face while she looked around for an escape route. The pack was closing in, confused and suspicious about the fellow goth. Suddenly, Sam whipped out her finger, pointed it down a hallway, and shouted "**Look**! **A distraction**!" While the others looked in the direction on Sam's finger, the frightened goth ran in the other direction.

* * *

A transfer student was walking to his locker. He wore a gothic outfit, strangely similar yet different to the outfits everyone else was wearing. He opened his locker, and had gotten a few textbooks out of his storage space decorated with bohemian baubles and bangles. There was a poster of Good Charlotte, a poster of Evanescence, patches of Blink-182 and Emily the Strange, and an Invader Zim plushie stuffed in the back. Amidst all of the blackened clutter, there was a broken mirror with a gilded frame and ornate carvings. The mirror glowed green and reverberated violently, as a young gray boy crawled out through the mirror.

He looked at what used to be his old locker, and grimaced at the unusual décor that now inhabited it.

"I've seen less black in a coal mine," he muttered as he phased through the locker door. He looked at his surroundings, and noticed that practically every kid in school was wearing some sort of punk or goth outfit. However, one student stuck out like a sore thumb, because she was whimpering running from a group of goth kids. As she saw the gray boy in the hallway she screamed in surprise.

"Poindexter?" she yelped. "What're **you **doing here? I thought Danny destroyed your mirror!"

"It still had some glass on it." Poindexter explained. "So I could still get through the mirror."

"That still doesn't explain what you're doing here." Sam countered.

"Umm...you know that one ghost Penelope Spectra?" Poindexter asked.

"Yeah, what about her?"

"Well, you see...She kinda came to my ghost school and is feeding off of the misery of my fellow students and I didn't wanna be constantly miserable so I fled here." Poindexter lied. Sam wondered briefly if a ghost could feed off other ghosts, but she dismissed it. Poindexter was about to continue talking when a young woman in a tight red outfit with a black visor and decals aimed a pistol-like object at him.

"Don't move, freak." The woman in the red outfit warned, "There's a ghost right behind you!"

"What?" Poindexter yelped as his eyes frantically darted around. "Where?" The woman just raised her silver pistol and shot out a beam of red ectoplasmic energy. It hit Poindexter, sending him flying into a row of lockers. When he finally got up, Poindexter was dazed and slurred, "I think she means me."

_Oh joy. It's Valerie the Ghost Slayer. _Sam thought irritably to herself. "Why'd ya do that? And I'm not a freak!"

"Listen, goth geek," the ghost hunter sneered, "I'm a ghost hunter. It's my job to make sure the citizens of Amity Park can sleep soundly at night without any ghost attacks. If you can't appreciate it, then maybe I shouldn't have saved you from that ghost."

"**Saved**?" Sam retorted, "I wasn't even in danger! This ghost's just a dead nerd."

"I'm not a nerd!" Poindexter retorted.

"He's not just any nerd." The ghost hunter said, "He's Sydney Poindexter, a self proclaimed nerd defender. A force to be reckoned with if you tease anyone."

"Yeah, but I know about the new ghost in here!" Poindexter interrupted. Both ladies turned and looked at him with astonishment.

"You know about the emotion eating mall ghost?" Valerie asked, surprised that the ghost knew about her next target.

"You know about Malorie?" Sam asked, just as surprised.

"You got it!" Poindexter said happily, "And I'm here to help!"

"What can you do to help?" the woman in red asked, "She eats emotions; You defend losers."

"Well," Poindexter began, "Between my intellect, your ghost hunting prowess, Sam's oddball originality, and—" The ghastly geek turned to Sam, "Say, where is the halfa anyway?"

"The what-a?" both girls asked.

"It's slang for a half ghost half human." Poindexter explained, "Sam—"

"I've seen him once!" Sam said quickly while covering Poindexter's mouth, which was a bit complicated since her hand could go right through the ghost. "C'mon! We need to find Danny, he could help us!" They ran down the hallways desperately searching for Danny's next class.

"Good idea, freak." The red women agreed, "Fenton's ghost hunting parents might know how to stop this emotion eating ghost!"

"I'm not a freak! And that's not why I'm looking for Danny!" Sam snapped.

"If it's 'cause you need emotional support from your boyfriend," the ghost hunter said, "Then you're out of luck! He's just as emotionless as everyone else in this school."

"Whaddaya—**YEEEEAAAAAUUUGH**!!!" Sam howled as she stepped into the classroom.

* * *

Danny: Guess what? It got much worse.

Tucker: How?

Danny: ZAGRH8R also wants us to reinact Cirque du Freak.

Tucker: Holy crap! Not Cirque du Freak! What's Cirque du Freak.

Me: The greatest vampire series ever made. Now I shall give out rewards to reviewers.

Divagurl227: No, because Sam took the Fenton Flashlight, not the Fenton Thermos. You get a Darren Shan plushie (Cirque du Freak)

Ghostly Hamburger: ...I'm not sure what to say about Sam's parents. Cougar intestines were the most different things I could think of. Sorry you missed Invader Zim. You get every episode of Invader Zim ever made.

Firehedgehog: They're worth that much, eh? You get a Mr. Crepsley plushie (Cirque du Freak)

WormmonABC: Not sure where Ember got the guitar. You get a Steve Leopard plushie (Cirque du Freak).

Cheerin4danny: Thanks. You get an Evra plushie (Cirque du Freak)

Khyrstiana: I can always count on you for short reviews. You get a Mr. Tall plushie (Cirque du Freak)

Cyborgtoy00: Yep, I bailed her out of jail. You get a Sam Grest plushie (Cirque du Freak)

Jacks Ghost Gal: Yeah, what if...You get a Little Person plushie (Cirque du Freak)

Anomoly: No, that's not the special thing. But good eye, and thanks for the compliments. You get a Gavner Purl plushie (Cirque du Freak)

Cybertoy00: You shall soon see....you shall soon see...And the Love Bug first appeared in MAAPOL. Since you reviewed twice, you get a Debbie Hemlock plushie and a Mr. Tiny plushie (both from Cirque du Freak)

Thanks for your continued patronidge!!! Seeya next chapter!


	9. The Trend of the Living Dead

I AM ALIVE! I EXIST! And I'm sorry about not updating earlier. Suddenly this fic fell into the back of my mind (Oh the horror) But rejoice! For I have updated now! Please enjoy the new chapter.

From the Fairly OddParents.

"Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep" is a book title.

Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom, or Fairly Odd Parents, or Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, or Invader ZIM

* * *

"Danny? Tucker?" Sam asked in a frightened tone, "Remember when we had that bet that you couldn't pull off goth?" Both boys nodded their heads. "You both owe me ten dollars"

"For your information, we pull off goth just fine." Tucker replied. He was currently wearing a black shirt with a whitish-gray skull on the front and purple long sleeves with black stripes. His dark gray cargo pants nicely matched his black boots with steel toes and dark gray soles. Extra accessories included studded bracelets on each arm and one around his neck, and his techno-geek glasses. That would have been goth enough, but he also painted his nails mega onyx, wore funky black eyeliner, and his hair was in dreadlocks instead of under its usual red cap. (A/N: Think Tucker's goth outfit in '13')

"Hell, we're more goth than you." Danny added. He was still wearing his Happy Noodle Boy shirt that Malorie had given him, along with a long black jacket that reached down to his ankles. On those ankles were legs that were wearing black leather pants, and feet that were wearing boots that extended to just an inch below Danny's kneecaps. (A/N: Think Dib's outfit from 'Invader ZIM')

"I'd better leave before **I **catch the goth bug too." The red ghost hunter said quickly.

"Under normal circumstances, I'd call her stupid and tell her that goth isn't contagious," Sam said as she watched the ghost hunter leave. "But it seems as if everybody's turning goth because of that Malorie ghost!"

"So?" both boys asked.

"Well, apart from the fact that Malorie's another evil ghost bent on taking over the world with you guys as slaves," Sam began (Tucker shot Sam a nasty look, and Danny just said "Easy, Tucker. Emotions are bad.") "But goth is **my **thing and **you're STEALING it**!!!"

"Are you going to change your thing?" Danny asked casually.

"Duh!" Sam shot back.

"Eh, just like those popular dweebs." Danny replied, "Every time something becomes popular and cliché, you change your look so you still seem different. Just like every time something becomes popular and cliché, the popular kids change their look so they still seem **the same**."

Sam was about to retort, but she realized that Danny had a point. By and by, she did things that she wanted to, but her parents forbade some things because they were in style. Sam quickly replaced the things she liked with things that she didn't necessarily like, but weren't popular. She hated doing that. It made her feel like she was sucking up to her parents.

"Since when did you become so philosophical?" Sam asked Danny.

"A lack of emotions heightens logic(1)," Danny answered. Valerie just walked into the classroom looking frightened.

"Even the **popular jerks **are goths!" Valerie gasped. "I **so **don't wanna get the goth bug! I gotta stay away from the **freaks**!" She quickly took her seat next to Sam.

"Why are you sitting next to me, Valerie?" Sam asked, "I'm goth, and you wanted to stay away from Goths."

"You don't count. You were always a goth freak." Valerie explained. Sam rolled her eyes as Mr. Lancer walked into the classroom, with one of his hands behind his back.

"I know that practically all of the school has slipped into a media induced state of gothic depression." Mr. Lancer began, "Normally, I could care less about the styles of today, as long as you get your work done. Unfortunately, all of you seem as if you could care less about your schoolwork, and the school refuses to give me my paycheck until you cheer up. Therefore, I have concocted a foolproof plan to bring smiles back to your faces and answers back on your papers." One of the goth kids raised his hand.

"Are you sure this plan is **foolproof**?" the kid asked dully.

"Do androids dream of electric sheep?(2)" Mr. Lancer exclaimed, "So, without further ado, I present…" he yanked his arm from behind his back, revealing a puppet with a big, yellow, smiley face on the teacher's hand, "…**Mr. Happykins**!!!" The entire class was silent and all wore bored expression on their faces, except for Sam and Valerie, who both looked frightened. You could almost hear the crickets chirruping in the classroom.

"Hello, kiddies!" Mr. Lancer said through the puppet. "I'm Mr. Happykins! And I'm here to do a happy dance for you!" Mr. Lancer kept moving the puppet around in a sad attempt to make it 'dance' "La la la la! I am so happy! Happy, happy, happy! And you will make your wonderful teacher Mr. Lancer happy when you become happy!"

"Mr. Happykins." Mr. Lancer said, "Do you know what time it is?"

"Why yes I do!" Mr. Lancer said through the puppet in an annoyingly high-pitched voice.

"It's 'Super Happy Quiz Time'!" Mr. Lancer squealed, overly cheerful.

"Ooooh!" Mr. Happykins replied.

"Anyone who correctly answers the question," Mr. Lancer explained, "Gets the 'Super Special Mystery Prize!'"

"Wowee!" Mr. Happykins exclaimed, "What is the 'Super Special Mystery Prize'?"

"It's a secret!" Mr. Lancer said jovially, while tickling the puppet's felt stomach, "You silly widdle puppet you!" As Mr. Lancer was speaking baby talk to the puppet and tickling its stomach, he also attempted to laugh through the puppet. This resulted in a sort of noise that sounded like a laughing gorilla with a sore throat.

"Your teacher should be called 'Mr. Needs-a-working-brain-kins'." Poindexter observed. Sam jumped at his voice.

"How, long were you in here?" Sam whispered to the nerd ghost.

"Followed ya here, remember?" Poindexter whispered back. "I have an idea, but we need to discuss it in secret."

Sam and Valerie both raised their hands, and asked to use the bathroom. But before they could leave, Lancer stepped in front of the door.

"But before you leave," Mr. Lancer asked through Mr. Happykins. "Could you tell Mr. Lancer the theme of Robert Frost's 'The Road Not Taken'?"

"Good and evil?" Sam suggested.

"Doing your own thing?" Valerie answered.

"_Weird. I thought Sam would say that." _Poindexter thought.

"Close enough." Mr. Lancer said. And the two girls and ghost headed in their separate directions.

* * *

In the girls' bathroom, Sam and the red ghost huntress were talking, and Poindexter's eyes were darting around nervously.

"I feel really uncomfortable in here." Poindexter muttered.

"News flash!" the ghost hunter said, "You can go invisible anytime a girl comes in or out."

"I **still **feel uncomfortable in here." Poindexter said.

"So, what was your plan to stop Malorie?" Sam asked.

"Well, first off," Poindexter began, "Do you know who the halfa has possessed?"

"Only Danny's dad and Dash." Sam said, "But what does this have to do with your plan?"

"I'm getting to it!" Poindexter said. "Now, we'll need some film reels, an old projector, A/V Nerds that need their grades raised, and a teacher."

"And **why **do we need all of this crap?" the ghost hunter asked.

"For the plan!" Poindexter said.

"Screw this!" the ghost hunter barked, "I'm just gonna take on Malorie with raw ecto-firepower!" She pulled a metal square from her bag, pressed a red button on it, and it unfolded into a hoverboard. The red ghost hunter hopped on, and flews out the doors to the school. Everyone who saw this didn't make much of it, since they were all in an emotionless state anyway.

"Don't blame me if Malorie creams you!" Poindexter yelled down the hallways.

* * *

I will now thank the reviewers!

WormmonABC: Yes, poor Danny! At least he was given a cool outfit! You get a TAK plushie (Invader ZIM)

Ghostly Hamburger: I never thought of you as the kind of person to suggest that. Preppy girls go goth for Halloween? I'd have loved to see that. You get a MIMI plushie (Invader ZIM)

Cybertoy00: Sorry I didn't update as quickly. You get a Keef plushie (Invader ZIM)

Cheerin4danny: I got this chapter up even quicker (note the obvious sarcasm) You get an Invader SKOODGE plushie (Invader ZIM)

Firehedgehog: Well, now you can add this Invader TENN (Invader ZIM) plushie to your collection.

Aura Spectra: I'm glad you like the quote. You get a TAK's ship plushie (Invader ZIM)

Khrystiana: And once again, I thank you. You get a Minimoose plushie. (Invader ZIM)

Paulina must die!: You got it! Hypnotized punk indeed! And I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyy want the twelfth book too! You get a voodoo doll of Paulina. I love the concept of voodoo things.

Read and review and pester me until I update more quickly.


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